Use The Power of FEAR as TOOL To SUCCEED in Life
“Do the phrases ‘Be fearless, be brave’ sound cliché to you? Throughout my life, elders, teachers, seniors, colleagues, and friends consistently portrayed fear as an obstacle in every aspect of life. It’s often depicted as a monstrous force blocking the growth in various aspects of our lives. But is fear really that detrimental? Consider the sparrow fearfully eating grains on your rooftop – without the power of fear, would it survive the watchful eyes of a cat waiting for an opportunity? Ponder on this! The deer, always vigilant while eating or sleeping, demonstrates how nature has ingrained fear into every living being.
If fear were such an enemy, why would Mother Nature incorporate it? Does nature aim to limit our ability to grow and succumb to fear, or is there a larger purpose to fear in life beyond our narrow perspective?
Let’s first explore the ancient meaning of fear: it’s a feeling that something dangerous, painful, or frightening might happen.In other words, it’s the feeling when you foresee the probability of something unknown happening, a part of our survival instinct that keeps us safe. This notion has been deeply ingrained in humans and all living beings since the beginning of life forms. Doesn’t this suggest that fear is meant to be a helpful tool? Can we use the power of fear to aid our growth? The bigger question is, ‘How?’
Surprisingly, there are simple ways to use fear as one of the most powerful tools for growth in every aspect of life. Let’s delve into it.
In the primitive era, fear mainly originated in situations involving ‘life and death’ since humans were not very evolved and were always in danger while hunting for food to survive in the wild. However, in the modern world, most of us confuse everyday things with similar severity. Performing on stage, facing stage fright, going for an interview, or anticipating a promotion may cause jitters in the stomach. Ask yourself – Are these even close to being as fearful as living in the wild?
I’ve experienced all these situations, and despite well-wishers saying, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world,’ it never helped. Deep down, what I actually feared was, ‘What would people think if I get rejected?’ See how the transition of fear has occurred from being cautious in life-and-death situations to fearing failure in the eyes of others. Fear, once a major weapon for caution, has become an unavoidable habit (manifesting as stress, worrying, anxiety) as we worry about almost every minor thing in life.
How do we resolve this with using the power of fear ? I won’t discuss ‘overcoming fear‘ because it’s one of the most misguided concepts. There’s no such thing as overcoming fear, as fear is not something to be conquered. It should be channeled to yield the best possible results in a particular situation. What do I mean by that?
Consider how our mind works in fear. The first thing our mind would do is try to list down all possible outcomes of the situation, a remarkable power of the human mind. The challenge arises when we give strength to all negative outcomes, dismissing the positives and we associate that feeling with failure. It’s okay if, as a first instinct, that’s what you feel! Let the emotion flow in your mind.
Take instance of performing on stage where right before the action – first thing you feel is nervousness, fear of – “what would happen if it doesn’t go as planned, what if this happens, what if that happens?” and so on. That’s ok! Just tell yourself in that moment- ‘Yes, I am feeling uneasy right now.’ As soon as you acknowledge that feeling with full awareness and by being still, that’s when the power of fear kicks-in and this negative thought loses its power over you. Try it and see for yourself.
Now the next step is to validate in your mind if there is any other way or possibility of a different outcome. Different outcomes may mean different things in different situations. Sometimes it may just mean, ‘What is the best that I can do here?’ Remember, we are not trying to conquer fear, we are learning to channelize it. Stay with that thought and go to the second step.
Now comes the second step, which I believe is the most important one – i.e., Divide the situation between controllable and uncontrollable. What does it mean? In the above step, we started visualising a different possibility.
Next to it, just assess what it is about the situation that you can control and focus on that. For instance in our example of stage performance – next thing you can visualise in your mind could be , “Alright, I know my script, I practised it, I rehearsed it so many times, so I am just gonna go and focus on that in my performance”. This is very important. The moment you focus on what’s in your control, rest of the things automatically falls into place.
Overtime, practising this behaviour in tough situations will eventually make it your habit to be able to focus much better and channelize your energy of fear to work in your favour.
Always remember, fear is not your enemy; it’s neither a choice, it’s just an emotion in the brain that helps you survive in the worst of situations. Bravery is not the opposite of fear; it’s an outcome of the continuous practice of correctly channelizing your fear. That’s when The Power of fear is realized.